Funniest thing you've seen someone do working on a car.

VetteMod - Corvette Restoration, Modding & Performance Forum

Help Support VetteMod Forum:

I didn't get to see it but. The wife's new 2000 S70 Volvo had a problem, bad tires with flat spots. As I understand, if new tires sit to long motionless they can conform somewhat to the shape. Anyhow when I called the dealer which had her car. They said they were attempting to reform the tires by raising the car in gear spinning the tires to see if they would go back round. After this episode they claimed success! Picked the car up and had to throw the BS flag. What finally fixed it was me telling the salesman. When I drive it at 55 mph and it starts to go bumpity bump bad, it's talking to me. It's telling me I will never buy another Volvo again. Amazing a new set of tires finally appeared.

Ralphy

Over the years, the one brand of tire I have had/seen others have the most trouble with is Goodyear....for tread separation, belts twisting, sidewall deformation for some stupid reason....and know GY does a lot of private label stuff and they don't seem to have the troubles....don't make much sense, and I working on a transmission for my stepson here, he has GY Wranglers on it, NEW all around, and one of the sidewalls is lumpy already, ....

:gurney:
 
:hunter:I grew up just north of Akron, OH. Kids used to rob the Kelly Springfield trains at night. Lot's of KS tires in the high school lot. :hunter:
 
:hunter:I grew up just north of Akron, OH. Kids used to rob the Kelly Springfield trains at night. Lot's of KS tires in the high school lot. :hunter:

That not too cool, messing with RR dicks will get one killed in a heartbeat.....they are a law onto themselves, used to know a RR Detective some years ago, RR property, from tracks to warehouses, they don't screw around.....:ill::gurney:
He told a interesting little story of the alarms going off, broken **** on a RR warehouse, so with cops on the outside, HE goes in with a 12ga 00 buck and shouts out to the perp to drop it, and come out with hands up.....and racks the first shell, a few minits later out comes the perp with weapon dropped and hands up....oops e.....rong warehouse....:huh:
 
not car related..... I was preparing to drill a hole through a wall with a long drill bit. I wanted to be sure I would not hit anything so I "sighted" along the long drill bit and pulled the trigger. My hair wound around the drill bit and pulled out of my head. It was both painful and embarrassing. There was a large clump of hair on the drill bit. Fortunately I had a lot of long curly hair and no one could tell.

car related..... Working on my '69 Satellite Convertible I grabbed a hold of one of the spark plug wires while the engine was running. My right leg started to spasm and bang against the fender, completing the circuit. It was a vicious cycle but funny as hell as I was unable to let go for a few seconds.

corvette related - my C3 is on jack stands. I could not open the pass. side door. I thought the frame had flexed and that the door was jammed. For 2 days I poked and fiddled with the jammed lock, not wanting to take the car off the jack stands. I finally realized that somehow i had locked the door. I pulled the door lock and the door opened smooth as glass...
 
not car related..... I was preparing to drill a hole through a wall with a long drill bit. I wanted to be sure I would not hit anything so I "sighted" along the long drill bit and pulled the trigger. My hair wound around the drill bit and pulled out of my head. It was both painful and embarrassing. There was a large clump of hair on the drill bit. Fortunately I had a lot of long curly hair and no one could tell.

car related..... Working on my '69 Satellite Convertible I grabbed a hold of one of the spark plug wires while the engine was running. My right leg started to spasm and bang against the fender, completing the circuit. It was a vicious cycle but funny as hell as I was unable to let go for a few seconds.

corvette related - my C3 is on jack stands. I could not open the pass. side door. I thought the frame had flexed and that the door was jammed. For 2 days I poked and fiddled with the jammed lock, not wanting to take the car off the jack stands. I finally realized that somehow i had locked the door. I pulled the door lock and the door opened smooth as glass...

Those three stories are hilarious :crylol:
 
not car related..... I was preparing to drill a hole through a wall with a long drill bit. I wanted to be sure I would not hit anything so I "sighted" along the long drill bit and pulled the trigger. My hair wound around the drill bit and pulled out of my head. It was both painful and embarrassing. There was a large clump of hair on the drill bit. Fortunately I had a lot of long curly hair and no one could tell.

car related..... Working on my '69 Satellite Convertible I grabbed a hold of one of the spark plug wires while the engine was running. My right leg started to spasm and bang against the fender, completing the circuit. It was a vicious cycle but funny as hell as I was unable to let go for a few seconds.

corvette related - my C3 is on jack stands. I could not open the pass. side door. I thought the frame had flexed and that the door was jammed. For 2 days I poked and fiddled with the jammed lock, not wanting to take the car off the jack stands. I finally realized that somehow i had locked the door. I pulled the door lock and the door opened smooth as glass...

YGTBFKM.....back '66 or so I met up with a friend I knew bach in HS Summer Skool Engluch class....do a search on William Dean Christianson (en?) and you will find him in the mass murderer files....killed some 30 people between Florida and Canada.....seriously....I have filed of old Wash Post paper articles about him from the time span....

the ASSOCIATION IS....he leaned over his bastard 61/58 corvette and tried to remove a plug wire with engine running, and it kicked him into the weeds....so he get up again to repeat the performance.....

same result.....I try to attach a file, dunno if it holds or not.....don't mean to hi jack a thread, but just a side note....
 

Attachments

  • Bill Ch file .jpg
    Bill Ch file .jpg
    397.4 KB
Back when GM was introducing HEI- the GM training center instructor was doing the class- 12v to the + terminal on the cap, clamp the dizzy in a vise, ground it and turn the shaft- sparks everytime- he got his azz knocked off and made the statement "Everytime I do this I get it"..

Story running around the KC GM dealers- one of the techs at a Buick shop- new Riviera he reached over and did the old time pull a plug wire to find the miss. HEi was good enough it zapped him thru the wire- and thru the zipper and front of his pants. The story goes they had to get him to the hospital to straighten him back out. Wille and the twins took a direct hit off the fender.
 
Years ago was helping a guy find TDC on an old Olds, had my hand in the tight fit to get to #1 hole. He bumped the engine over with the starter and the hei used my finger to fire the mixture. You could see the black streak trace on my finger as well as the char from the mixture burn. Hurt for a few days.
That's when I decided an Hei has enough energy for an ignition system.
 
Years ago was helping a guy find TDC on an old Olds, had my hand in the tight fit to get to #1 hole. He bumped the engine over with the starter and the hei used my finger to fire the mixture. You could see the black streak trace on my finger as well as the char from the mixture burn. Hurt for a few days.
That's when I decided an Hei has enough energy for an ignition system.

LOL!!!
Makes me think of the scene from Young Frankenstein when Frank's finger is on fire!
 
Back when GM was introducing HEI- the GM training center instructor was doing the class- 12v to the + terminal on the cap, clamp the dizzy in a vise, ground it and turn the shaft- sparks everytime- he got his azz knocked off and made the statement "Everytime I do this I get it"..

Story running around the KC GM dealers- one of the techs at a Buick shop- new Riviera he reached over and did the old time pull a plug wire to find the miss. HEi was good enough it zapped him thru the wire- and thru the zipper and front of his pants. The story goes they had to get him to the hospital to straighten him back out. Wille and the twins took a direct hit off the fender.

yet another reason that going commando has unforeseen consequences

in the line of shocking - I've been tagged by a points distributor through its wires; and I still love the back-in-the-day grounding straps for small engines - oh the pain, you get a choice if you use your finger to shut it down 1) release it and get a nasty shock, or 2) hold it and get a nasty burn because the thing is as hot as the cylinder head....

or, private school story, the 8th grade teacher was teaching about electricity and would have everyone hold hands in a circle. He would then use his old phone wind up coil to show that completing the circuit was shockless (unless you were somewhere in the middle), but when someone let go, the "break" in the line would get a nice shock.... oh the good old days (I still spit on that bastard's grave).
 
Last edited:
Not car related but a funny revenge story from my childhood.

I was in a boys school for a year and a half when I was 9 yrs. old until I was 10 1/2.
One of the other kids kept stealing my baseball mitt and my bicycle. I would find the stuff and take it back and then he would find out and kick my ass and take it back again. This went on for several months until one day.....

I snuck off grounds (went awol) and walked into town. Some of the other kids saw me and asked where I was going. I said "To the Deli, to get a Ham Sandwich" which is what we all did when we could because institutional food sucked. But I did not go to the deli. Instead I went next door to the drug store and I bought a can of Nair (hair remover). I went back to the school and waited until lights out that night. After everyone was asleep and the night watchman fell asleep I snuck into this kids dorm room (12 kids to a room) and I squirted a tennis ball sized glob of Nair into his afro. He must have heard the can hissing in his sleep because the next thing I know he is stretching, smacking his lips and rolling over, so I did the same thing to the other side of his head. Now I am truly scared shitless so I take the can of Nair downstairs and I go out into the woods (I am in my pajamas) and I hurl the can as far away as I can, then I go back to my dorm room and get back in my bed to wait for the morning.
Now I know this kids bathroom routine - we all shared a big institutional style bathroom with urinals on one wall, a row of toilet stalls and a row of sinks with mirrors on the opposite wall - He first pees, then goes to the sink to afro pick his hair.
I am laying in bed in terror, waiting for events to unfold. I see him go into the bathroom. I hear the urinal flush. I hear the water running in the sink and I can just imagine him reaching into his back pocket, pulling out his afro pick, to start picking his hair from back to front.
Then the screaming starts.....
AAAAAAAAGGHHH!!!!! AAAAAGGHH! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGHHHH!!! MY ******* HAIR !!!!!!!!! AAAAAGGHHH!!!!!!
The dorm rooms and bathroom were upstairs. Three counselors were downstairs and heard the screaming. It sounded like someone was getting stabbed or murdered. It was funny as hell as they all tried to come up the stairs at the same time and were falling over each other in their rush. They barged into the bathroom, figured out who was who and sent all of the other kids out of the bathroom in a hurry. About 15 minutes later they get this kid calmed down enough to where they can hustle him out of the bathroom and out of the building. Later that day he returned with a baldy haircut and he was obviously sedated, he looked like he was moon walking - and Michael Jackson hadn't done that thing yet. From that day forward he was good as a choir boy, never leaving the counselor's sides or causing trouble again....
I never did get found out, or if they did figure it out, no one let on.... :nuts:
 
Back when GM was introducing HEI- the GM training center instructor was doing the class- 12v to the + terminal on the cap, clamp the dizzy in a vise, ground it and turn the shaft- sparks everytime- he got his azz knocked off and made the statement "Everytime I do this I get it"..

Story running around the KC GM dealers- one of the techs at a Buick shop- new Riviera he reached over and did the old time pull a plug wire to find the miss. HEi was good enough it zapped him thru the wire- and thru the zipper and front of his pants. The story goes they had to get him to the hospital to straighten him back out. Wille and the twins took a direct hit off the fender.

yet another reason that going commando has unforeseen consequences

in the line of shocking - I've been tagged by a points distributor through its wires; and I still love the back-in-the-day grounding straps for small engines - oh the pain, you get a choice if you use your finger to shut it down 1) release it and get a nasty shock, or 2) hold it and get a nasty burn because the thing is as hot as the cylinder head....

or, private school story, the 8th grade teacher was teaching about electricity and would have everyone hold hands in a circle. He would then use his old phone wind up coil to show that completing the circuit was shockless (unless you were somewhere in the middle), but when someone let go, the "break" in the line would get a nice shock.... oh the good old days (I still spit on that bastard's grave).




I met Joe Burdette of US TOWER fame....back in elementary school, and so being geeks of a feather, back in Junior High....science class, the exact same scenario.....only we being geeks knew WTF was what, and so we did NOT lock hands then grabbed our hands at the right moment.....the teacher was amazed the group did not feel anything then she really cranked hard, and we sent the class VERTICAL@!!!!!!

Joe and me were electronic geeks, his father was a EE prof at Univ/Md....Joe was a ham radio operator, him and Tom Graves used to talk to honorary Uncle Barry Goldwater on ham radio and I would listen in, as I personally did not have any ham gear, more into home stereo/band gear/sound reproduction.....

where is the electric spark geek???

:clobbered:
 
Not funny but stupid with fatal consequences : a guy from Hungary needs to load a big agricultural machine. He has a special trailer behind his truck. The type with the goose necks on which your normally drive your load with the sidepads removed. You normally hoist the trailer up in the air untill the tires are off the ground and then remove the wheels, putting the sidepads back on.

This guy decides to drive the load on there with the sidepads still in place and put the 15 ton machine on 2 hydraulic jacks. He takes on wheel off, finds out that the other touches the sidepad and cannot be removed. Goes under the machine to let some pressure out of one of the jacks....the 15 ton load lands on his shoulder....

I have pictures of that accident with the guy underneath, but I cannot put them here.

Anyway, we are still trying to figure out why he was using the jacks.
 
Back
Top