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View Full Version : Girl trouble--Darlene


BRUTAL64
05-08-2008, 10:25 PM
Ok, boys I've got a big problem to deal with. Darlene has told me that we are not engaged anymore and she wants a month (more if she needs it) to -as she put it today- "MISS" me and figure out what she wants. She said she still loves me.
I was a week away from moving in to her house. Now she says to not call or contact her in anyway. This has nothing to do with me and other women. If you guys need to know it has to do with a 8 year secret (we have been together for 8 years+) I've had and finally told her Sunday. I wanted to come clean before we got married. Didn't go over too good.
Do I stay completely away?
Do I sent her flowers every once in while with a note telling her how I feel?
Do I just send a letter telling my her how sorry I am?

What the HELL do I do???

I have never been engaged or Married before and I'm completely at a loss here.

I hopeing you "Married Guys" might have some insight on what to do. :sos:

turtlevette
05-08-2008, 10:56 PM
the letter, any prick with 50 bucks can send flowers.

and it better be a really good one.

but some things are indeed insurmountable so it could be over.

i guess the secret is a good one since you're not sharing with us.

BRUTAL64
05-08-2008, 10:59 PM
the letter, any prick with 50 bucks can send flowers.

and it better be a really good one.

but some things are indeed insurmountable so it could be over.

i guess the secret is a good one since you're not sharing with us.

It has to do with how old I am, she thought I was 10 years younger than I am.:clobbered:

turtlevette
05-08-2008, 11:00 PM
It has to do with how old I am, she thought I was 10 years younger than I am.:clobbered:

i don't think that is a big deal at all. She'll be back in a week.

Sadistic
05-08-2008, 11:05 PM
Just tell her that all men have the same weakness and you are no different. Didn't you learn anything from Bill Clinton? Don't admit anything until the DNA evidence comes in and even then, try something like, "Does it count if she didn't inhale?". Something like infidelity will never go over well and there are some things you cannot tell your woman. They will never be able to come to terms with the fact that we don't have the will power to turn down good p_ss_ and can you blame them? It's one of those things that you will have to learn to keep to yourself but it seems that it is too late for that. I would suggest that you don't overdue it when it comes to giving her attention because it comes off as insincere and manipulative. Perhaps, you should send her flowers only once during the week and write something like "Just want you to know that you are in my thoughts". Keep it simple and don't blow it by being pushy.

When all else fails, don't be too shy to remind her of Sadistic's philosophy that fine women have the advantage in that they can get any man they want but men have the advantage that any good piece of a$$ will do. Cheer up and remember that none of these type of relationships are as important as they seem.

BRUTAL64
05-08-2008, 11:07 PM
i don't think that is a big deal at all. She'll be back in a week.

Well, that puts me 13 years older than her.:(

Sadistic
05-08-2008, 11:07 PM
Geez, that's all? I obviously assumed it was something different. Tell her you found the fountain of youth and you don't plan on discontinuing usage any time soon. Seriously, it is more of a problem with american women than those from other cultures. If you keep yourself in shape, she will age must faster than you do. Above all, remember that women fill a role in our lives and it is important but there are lots of other women besides the one you have who can fill it as well.

mrvette
05-08-2008, 11:08 PM
I am 7 years older than my wife......which is about all I can say.....

:ghost::crutches:

SmokeyVette
05-08-2008, 11:09 PM
If she doesn't love you no matter what your age, she doesn't deserve you anyway.

I'm a bachelor, and I'm a bachelor for a reason, when they get all up in a tiff over petty shit like that, they get to see the curb.

Ultimately it's up to you to decide how you want to show her that you are the same person you were four days and ten years ago, but to jump to breaking up over some petty shit like that you have to ask yourself if she's worth all this toil.

Good luck with whatever you decide. :thumbs:

BRUTAL64
05-08-2008, 11:15 PM
Just tell her that all men have the same weakness and you are no different. Didn't you learn anything from Bill Clinton? Don't admit anything until the DNA evidence comes in and even then, try something like, "Does it count if she didn't inhale?". Something like infidelity will never go over well and there are some things you cannot tell your woman. They will never be able to come to terms with the fact that we don't have the will power to turn down good p_ss_ and can you blame them? It's one of those things that you will have to learn to keep to yourself but it seems that it is too late for that. I would suggest that you don't overdue it when it comes to giving her attention because it comes off as insincere and manipulative. Perhaps, you should send her flowers only once during the week and write something like "Just want you to know that you are in my thoughts". Keep it simple and don't blow it by being pushy.

When all else fails, don't be too shy to remind her of Sadistic's philosophy that fine women have the advantage in that they can get any man they want but men have the advantage that any good piece of a$$ will do. Cheer up and remember that none of these type of relationships are as important as they seem.

Thanks. It has NOTHING to do with another woman. She is mad because she thought I was lying for 8 years about my age. I have been telling people I was ten years younger since I was 35. I never thought twice about it until I tried to tell her, just could never tell her my real age--always worried she would think differently of me. Kinda stupid.:footmouth:

BBShark
05-08-2008, 11:16 PM
When you came clean about the age "enhancement", she probably wonders what other secrets you might have. If you can assure her that you have no more secrets, who knows?

How do you convince her after 8 years? I gotta go with Turtle, no flowers. If I was you I would hire someone to write the greatest letter ever.

Then I would NEVER tell her that I hired a pro to write the letter;)

Sadistic
05-08-2008, 11:19 PM
And you don't think that some of us have done the same thing? Glenn, I was balling 19 and 20 year old females that were fine as all hell before I got married. I tweaked the facts from one end of the spectrum to the other and why not? Are they completely honest with us? Heck no. From their makeup to their high heels and relentless smile, it's all a scam. I've lied about my age plenty of times and it paid the dividends. If they hung around long enough, they found out the truth anyway.

If you ever want to hear about some of my glorious escapades, just ask. I could go on and on to a willing ear. It's no secret that I struggle bitterly with the concept of being humble. :yahoo:

BRUTAL64
05-08-2008, 11:22 PM
If she doesn't love you no matter what your age, she doesn't deserve you anyway.

I'm a bachelor, and I'm a bachelor for a reason, when they get all up in a tiff over petty shit like that, they get to see the curb.

Ultimately it's up to you to decide how you want to show her that you are the same person you were four days and ten years ago, but to jump to breaking up over some petty shit like that you have to ask yourself if she's worth all this toil.

Good luck with whatever you decide. :thumbs:

This has crossed my mind too, wheather it is worth it or not..
But, I've never asked a women to Marry me before-I've lived with 15-20 over the years. I guess this one is special to me.:twitch:

BRUTAL64
05-08-2008, 11:33 PM
When you came clean about the age "enhancement", she probably wonders what other secrets you might have. If you can assure her that you have no more secrets, who knows?

How do you convince her after 8 years? I gotta go with Turtle, no flowers. If I was you I would hire someone to write the greatest letter ever.

Then I would NEVER tell her that I hired a pro to write the letter;)

There are Pros for that??:suspicious:

turtlevette
05-08-2008, 11:33 PM
i've never heard of a man lieing about his age. It's always women that do that. What the hell is your motovation?

the question i would have is, what's the reason for dating for 8 years. That's longer than most marriages last. If you have to think about it for 8 years maybe you really don't want to do it.

Sadistic
05-08-2008, 11:35 PM
I'm available and have supreme writing skills. Unfortunately, I have a sick mind as well and a sense of humor that is renowned for sending relationships to the graveyard. Turtle, lay off him. A scrub like you would never be in a position to drill a female much younger than himself and that is why you would never have to lie about your age. I'm just surprised that he was able to keep her in the dark for 8 years. That was hell of a monkey to have hanging on his back.

By the way, turtle, lying and motivation are not difficult words to spell and you have thus been eliminated from consideration for writing his love letter. That shit might fly with your bowling alley buddies but don't bring that rubbish anywhere near a post of mine.

BRUTAL64
05-08-2008, 11:40 PM
And you don't think that some of us have done the same thing? Glenn, I was balling 19 and 20 year old females that were fine as all hell before I got married. I tweaked the facts from one end of the spectrum to the other and why not? Are they completely honest with us? Heck no. From their makeup to their high heels and relentless smile, it's all a scam. I've lied about my age plenty of times and it paid the dividends. If they hung around long enough, they found out the truth anyway.

If you ever want to hear about some of my glorious escapades, just ask. I could go on and on to a willing ear. It's no secret that I struggle bitterly with the concept of being humble. :yahoo:

Glorious escapades...you may have a money advantage but as far as stories go, I think I could keep up--I was a Bouncer for MANY years. Remember the Movie "ROAD HOUSE"-- opening 5 minutes at the BANDSTAND-Yep, I worked there and what you see in the movie is %100 correct.. women wise.:lol:


But all done with that. Time to make a REAL life.:sweat:

SmokinBBC
05-08-2008, 11:42 PM
She obviously needs to come to terms with the fact that you are a older than she thought and that you were keeping it a secret.

If it is truely meant to be, ie: she's in love, then age won't make a difference. My father was 10 years older than my mother. They got divorced when I was very young. His second wife was 20 years younger. My mothers second husband is 15 years older than she is. My younger brother is 45 and his wife is 28.......

Coming clean was the right thing to do. I would respect her wishes..that shows your respect for her. She obviously has feelings for you, so I'm sure she'll be thinking long and hard about this. Hopefully, she's not going to just throw 8 years away.....

A lot of people might disagree with me....but, I can see some positive....if you and Darlene can overcome this, then the month apart will only go to reinforce that you are meant to be together...and you'll spend a lifetime knowing that. If you don't overcome this, then it is best that you find out now.

Communication and trust are the keys to any long lasting relationship. You are starting down this path....I would write a letter.....and let her know in your own personal way that you love her and miss her....but give her space.

Hang in there.

Sadistic
05-08-2008, 11:43 PM
Glorious escapades...you may have a money advantage but as far as stories go, I think I could keep up--I was a Bouncer for MANY years. Remember the Movie "ROAD HOUSE"-- opening 5 minutes at the BANDSTAND-Yep, I worked there and what you see in the movie is %100 correct.. women wise.:lol:


But all done with that. Time to make a REAL life.:sweat:

I don't doubt you a bit, Glenn. You have all the makings of a hell of a player.

BRUTAL64
05-08-2008, 11:44 PM
Turtle and Sadistic your help here is greatly welcomed. I really need help here and don't want this to turn into a word fest between you two. I respect both your opinons, and need to do something to not lose what I have completely. Thanks guys.:surrender:

turtlevette
05-08-2008, 11:50 PM
Turtle, lay off him. A scrub like you would never be in a position to drill a female much younger than himself and that is why you would never have to lie about your age.

By the way, turtle, lying and motivation are not difficult words to spell and you have thus been eliminated from consideration for writing his love letter. That shit might fly with your bowling alley buddies but don't bring that rubbish anywhere near a post of mine.

Women like older men so i don't see any benefit in lying about age.

Twin_Turbo
05-08-2008, 11:58 PM
Women like older men with money

Fixed it for you, it IS the truth!

Sadistic
05-08-2008, 11:59 PM
Women like older men so i don't see any benefit in lying about age.

I would bust your balls about you being to chickenshit to post a picture of yourself or even tell us your name, but the mods came down on me last time i proded you.

They told me not to pick on someone who is mentally challenged. Its a violation of some Federal law or something.


Dork, if your IQ was within 40 points of mine it would surprise me. Keep your low grade wit in the pool halls and local pubs where they will be appreciated by your sub-literate brethren.

big2bird
05-09-2008, 12:00 AM
When you came clean about the age "enhancement", she probably wonders what other secrets you might have. If you can assure her that you have no more secrets, who knows?


Answer A; (See above)


Answer B: She was going to break up anyhow, and you gave her a reason.


Solution. Give her what she wants. She wants to think about it/punish you/both.

BBShark
05-09-2008, 12:49 AM
OK, you don't like my idea of the pro letter expressing your undying love and commitment?

You need motivation to do this right (the pro letter). Have you ever heard the expression "absence makes the heart grow fonder"? What they meant to say was "absence makes the heart wander".

You got a week to seal the deal. I'll bet Sadistic could write you a great letter if he turned his talent towards good instead of evil:devil:

MYBAD79
05-09-2008, 01:44 AM
try something unique:
Google "singing telegram" or "flowers and song". I don't know if they offer this in your area, here in FL it's [Only registered and activated users can see links] ... incl. flowers, balloon, chocolate and the song it's about $200-$250.


[Only registered and activated users can see links] or [Only registered and activated users can see links]

crazyhorse
05-09-2008, 03:54 AM
Not sure how to advise you on this exactly....but she in my estimation may just be putting you thru the ringer for awhile...you just don't end an 8 year relationship just like that...so hang tough and give her some room for a couple weeks...no calls,flowers,letters...nada...you will find out soon enough...

Rich

TimAT
05-09-2008, 04:08 AM
I have to agee with Rich. Just back away and let her study on the whole thing for a bit. Let her call you when she's ready. Don't push. And don't sweat it, It'll work out.

easyasone2three
05-09-2008, 04:49 AM
Dork, if your IQ was within 40 points of mine it would surprise me. Keep your low grade wit in the pool halls and local pubs where they will be appreciated by your sub-literate brethren.


OH MY GOD, THIS IS HILARIOUS!!!! PLEASE DON"T STOP!!!

turtlevette
05-09-2008, 05:00 AM
OH MY GOD, THIS IS HILARIOUS!!!! PLEASE DON"T STOP!!!


A major problem here is that they've been dating for 8 years. She's trying to reconcile why its taken so long to seal the deal. That's what players do. Keep a girl on in limbo while milking her the while.

Hey want a great laugh. Go check out the chatbox archive starting around page 4 and on back for quite a ways.

I got his english major.....right here.

easyasone2three
05-09-2008, 05:01 AM
Glen, I have met you both. You are cool and Darlene is cool, it will work out. That lie was one that was too big to fly. Everybody lies sometimes. Be a little more discrete with your lies, women don't like to feel foolish.

Sadistic
05-09-2008, 11:23 AM
Hey want a great laugh. Go check out the chatbox archive starting around page 4 and on back for quite a ways.

I got his english major.....right here.

I don't wish to have this thread locked because of you, but just to set the record straight, you took the a$$ whipping of a lifetime last night. Of course, it was not much of an accomplishment, humiliating such a poor competitor.

I just hope that your loved ones will not let you down in this trying time. It was the kind of humiliation that could cause some family members to abandon one another. If they have not left you, grope them for all they can give, lean on them, run into their open arms and if possible find a plump breast to nestle with until lots of time has past and you are ready to embrace the horrific realities of what transpired last night. In the end, it would be best if you come to terms with the fact that I am superior to you in every way. It will not be easy but it will save you from further pain, which comes from the delusional ideals that brought you to that fateful arena last night. I would also advise you to place plastic sheets on your bed for the next several weeks. Gruesome flashbacks could kick in at any time and we don't need you to be humiliating yourself any further.

I would also like management to post a sticky of the glorious turtle squashing that took place last night. This will not only set the record straight but be a major source of entertainment for fellow members. Lets face it; we all have a little sadistic in us and what took place last night was an historic ass whipping that should not be forgotten any time soon.

BBShark
05-09-2008, 12:55 PM
Lets try this again. You see, Glenn has a dilemma with his girlfriend so he thought he would post a question at this forum. He got some good responses in the beginning and now the subject has been converted to the Turtle/Sadistic feud.

The purpose of this forum is NOT to provide a place for the two of you to do whatever it is that the two of you are trying to accomplish. The purpose of this forum is for people like Glenn to post questions and receive responses related to that question. See, it's simple!

So what do you think Glenn should do?

BRUTAL64
05-09-2008, 03:25 PM
Answer A; (See above)


Answer B: She was going to break up anyhow, and you gave her a reason.


Solution. Give her what she wants. She wants to think about it/punish you/both.

There are no more secrets. But, of course she doesn't know that. She has been really depressed about her Mom (they were VERY close) passing in November and with Mothers Day coming she is just that much more depressed. But. I had to tell before I moved in this week-end. It was a no win no matter what I did. :tomato:

BRUTAL64
05-09-2008, 03:31 PM
Not sure how to advise you on this exactly....but she in my estimation may just be putting you thru the ringer for awhile...you just don't end an 8 year relationship just like that...so hang tough and give her some room for a couple weeks...no calls,flowers,letters...nada...you will find out soon enough...

Rich

So, wait and see. You met me, I'm not a wait and see kinda guy. But, in this case it might be wise to be different than what is really me. :huh2:

Thanks.

BRUTAL64
05-09-2008, 03:47 PM
I have to agee with Rich. Just back away and let her study on the whole thing for a bit. Let her call you when she's ready. Don't push. And don't sweat it, It'll work out.

Having met both Rich and you, I have great respect of you both. I'm not a sit back and wait person by my any stretch of the imagination. But, seeing what has happened here- is that, maybe, I should be something different than my usual. What I have done so far sure wasn't right.:bonkers:

BRUTAL64
05-09-2008, 03:54 PM
Glen, I have met you both. You are cool and Darlene is cool, it will work out. That lie was one that was too big to fly. Everybody lies sometimes. Be a little more discrete with your lies, women don't like to feel foolish.

Yea, I know a lie is a lie, no matter the reason. It was not my intent to make her foolish. But, of course she doesn't know that. :clobbered:

BRUTAL64
05-09-2008, 04:20 PM
I just want to thank all of you that have posted here.
Having been both a Bouncer and Body Guard I thought I could handle what ever is thrown at me. Well, this has been something I have never been trained to handle. I'm completely out of my element with this.
Some may think the Forum is a bad place to discuss this, but I respect a lot of you and your opinons. There are some very good minds here and I needed input.
One thing that has occured to me, is if Darlene saw this it would not go over
too good. So lets keep this to just between us. Thanks again.:drink:

saudivette
05-09-2008, 07:16 PM
...If you guys need to know it has to do with a 8 year secret (we have been together for 8 years+) I've had and finally told her Sunday. I wanted to come clean before we got married. Didn't go over too good...
Glenn, when I read that my first thought was that you leapt out of the closet in a pink tutu or that Darlene came home from work early and found you lolling around on the bed in her sexy underwear, playing with your own nipples, or that you told her you prefer sex with deceased goats or something else weird!

Not taking anything away from the misery you are no doubt experiencing, but when I finally read what the lie was, I actually chuckled out loud - phew, talk about anti-climax.

Yes, a lie is a lie and you should have told her sooner (like about 7 years and 11 1/2 months ago) but I think this one is recoverable.

I wouldn't go as far as the singing "flowergram" nor would I sit back and do nothing. Personally, I'd write a short letter explaining how you wanted to tell her the truth but the longer your relationship went on, the more deeply you came to love her and the more scared you were of her leaving you if you did tell her the truth. Tell her that it's the only thing you've ever been untruthful about and that you are profoundly sorry for being so stupid as to lie to her and for upsetting her, but that you are still the same man that she loved for eight years up until a few days ago. However, you understand that you may have driven her away for ever but that your love for her is so great, you'd rather let her walk away than have her coming back to you and for ever wondering if there's anything else you've lied to her about.

If she works, I'd get that delivered with a single rose to her workplace. If not, get it delivered at home with the single rose.

That's what I'd do, or something similar. If that doesn't work, then it wasn't meant to be mate.

Good luck :wink:

BRUTAL64
05-09-2008, 07:46 PM
Glenn, when I read that my first thought was that you leapt out of the closet in a pink tutu or that Darlene came home from work early and found you lolling around on the bed in her sexy underwear, playing with your own nipples, or that you told her you prefer sex with deceased goats or something else weird!

Not taking anything away from the misery you are no doubt experiencing, but when I finally read what the lie was, I actually chuckled out loud - phew, talk about anti-climax.

Yes, a lie is a lie and you should have told her sooner (like about 7 years and 11 1/2 months ago) but I think this one is recoverable.

I wouldn't go as far as the singing "flowergram" nor would I sit back and do nothing. Personally, I'd write a short letter explaining how you wanted to tell her the truth but the longer your relationship went on, the more deeply you came to love her and the more scared you were of her leaving you if you did tell her the truth. Tell her that it's the only thing you've ever been untruthful about and that you are profoundly sorry for being so stupid as to lie to her and for upsetting her, but that you are still the same man that she loved for eight years up until a few days ago. However, you understand that you may have driven her away for ever but that your love for her is so great, you'd rather let her walk away than have her coming back to you and for ever wondering if there's anything else you've lied to her about.

If she works, I'd get that delivered with a single rose to her workplace. If not, get it delivered at home with the single rose.

That's what I'd do, or something similar. If that doesn't work, then it wasn't meant to be mate.

Good luck :wink:

Thanks, that is probably what I'm going to or something simular. I'm writing the letter now, in fact using some of your words. I liked the wording.

Thanks mate.

big2bird
05-10-2008, 02:15 AM
Glenn, when I read that my first thought was that you leapt out of the closet in a pink tutu or that Darlene came home from work early and found you lolling around on the bed in her sexy underwear, playing with your own nipples, or that you told her you prefer sex with deceased goats or something else weird!


:lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:

Rolling Thunder
05-10-2008, 04:20 PM
This thread is just TOO FUNNY!

Glen, I was married for 34 years and have been divorced for the past 4. I am 57 years old and have dated everything from 21 to 50 year olds. I have learned more in the last 4 than in the previous 34. My advice is to back away, give her the space she asks for and let her know that you respect her wishes. Let her also know that as an "older man", you don't have the luxury of time. Life's short... there are more women than men on this rock. The age lie was wrong, but not that big of a deal. If she's known YOU for 8 years and this makes her want to walk away, let her walk.

My ex made the comment recently that she was sure I would be re-married by now. It gave me the opportunity to use that response: "You remember when you'd get mad cause all your girlfriends were hitting on me? Well, I still have 3 of them left to screw." Priceless.

big2bird
05-10-2008, 04:23 PM
My ex made the comment recently that she was sure I would be re-married by now. It gave me the opportunity to use that response: "You remember when you'd get mad cause all your girlfriends were hitting on me? Well, I still have 3 of them left to screw." Priceless.

Qoute of the day. Too funny. FLMAO

saudivette
05-10-2008, 04:48 PM
..."You remember when you'd get mad cause all your girlfriends were hitting on me? Well, I still have 3 of them left to screw." Priceless.
Priceless indeed!!!! :lol::lol:

BRUTAL64
05-10-2008, 06:46 PM
This thread is just TOO FUNNY!

Glen, I was married for 34 years and have been divorced for the past 4. I am 57 years old and have dated everything from 21 to 50 year olds. I have learned more in the last 4 than in the previous 34. My advice is to back away, give her the space she asks for and let her know that you respect her wishes. Let her also know that as an "older man", you don't have the luxury of time. Life's short... there are more women than men on this rock. The age lie was wrong, but not that big of a deal. If she's known YOU for 8 years and this makes her want to walk away, let her walk.

My ex made the comment recently that she was sure I would be re-married by now. It gave me the opportunity to use that response: "You remember when you'd get mad cause all your girlfriends were hitting on me? Well, I still have 3 of them left to screw." Priceless.

Yes, priceless.:drink: